You’re sat on the living room floor. All around you are the remnants of a toy explosion, beautifully orchestrated by your twin toddlers – their smiling faces gleeful as they attempt to hide the evidence beneath the sofa. Your graffiti artists have also created a wonderful piece of modern art, right in the centre of your feature wall with yellow crayons, pink pencils and black permanent marker pens. This might give you the enthusiasm to get that decorating done, that you’ve been putting off since the birth of your terrible two, or you may just collapse in a heap and sob into a glass of red. Whatever your chosen route to escapism (Pimms and an episode of A Game of Thrones is usually my tipple of choice), there is help at hand! Below I will show you how to survive under the rule of your toddler twins and to find the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel!
Tip 1 – Buy a gas mask and a pair of heavy duty gloves
I kid you not my friends. When those two drop the stink bomb in unison, you are seriously going to know about it. Not only will you have to contend with the gag inducing aroma, that your angels feel the need to waft gleefully in your face, you’ll also have to clean and change them! It can be a daunting prospect, but armed with your weapons of choice, you can have those two puppies spick and span and crawling off on their merry way, before you can say “Pass me the sick bag!”
Tip 2 – Employ re-enforcements
You survived the infant days, the 2 hourly feeds and constant sick-ups. If you’re epic then you’ve also got past waking in the small hours of the morning and playing wake-up tag with your non-sleeping cherubs. You know the drill – one wakes up, you get them to sleep, creep into the bedroom and lay them slowly, ever so slowly into the cot, tiptoe out and close the door and just as you’re crawling back into bed, the other one wakes up! (I’m still working on being epic enough to get over this hurdle) Anyway, you’ve got past most of that and you probably had a little bit of help from friends and family. Well, now is the time to really grab some family help. Ever tried going to the loo with three children staring intently at you? Yeah. It’s not going to happen! If someone offers to take them for a walk, or a play date,
or sell them on ebay, then SAY YES!! For the love of good chocolate and Pimms, say yes! You’ll get a bit of time to scrape your sanity from the floor and collect yourself, before the next wave of chaos! Continue reading